For the last few months I have been pondering over the concept of de-cluttering. Allow me to elaborate; when I say de-cluttering, I don’t just mean in a throw-out-a-bunch-of-old-clothes way. I am also not referring to minimalism – getting rid of everything.
What I have been contemplating is a habit I have of holding onto everything. Not literally everything, but things I have associated as having sentimental value in my life at one point or another. When I moved house, this was something I noticed in particular. Old birthday cards and photos, knick-knacks I picked up on my travels through Europe – train tickets, key chains – just to name a few.
The other things I found were old DVD’s of shows I used to watch, over 100 magazines I haven’t read, a bag of recycled craft pieces I might one day use in a creative project… I could go on, but I think you get the point.
I suppose my point in all of this is, I have been challenged to ask myself why I kept some of these things for so long. In a lot of ways, I suppose, I tie things like this to who I am. These possessions have somehow shaped who I am. I realise now, that this isn’t true. I also realise that I don’t need so many reminders of things from my past. What is poignant to me, is that those things are in the past for a reason. I am living in the now, I don’t need to look back anymore. And I don’t need a train ticket or old polaroid to remind me that I’m not that person anymore.
I’m proud to say that I threw a lot of those aforementioned things out. A lot. Most. Not my Lizzie McGuire DVD’s or my 100+ unread magazines but perhaps one day I will get there. And while I view those boxes and boxes of things I donated to charity or filled my neighbours bins up with as an achievement, I realise now that that was only the start of a much bigger de-clutter.
Ironically, the bigger de-clutter isn’t getting rid of the physical things, it’s getting rid of the more permanent kind. Like the photos I have on my computer of people no longer in my life, the music and television that I no longer find entertaining and the words and photos I put on this blog that I no longer wish to endorse.
Am I trying to find who I am? No, I know who I am. And I know what I believe. I guess what I’m trying to do is get rid of all the distractions that I have allowed for so long to deter me from that.
It has been equally liberating and confronting, but I cannot recommend it enough.
Hello 2017! January is here but to be honest, it’s taken me awhile to shake off December. I reluctantly took down the Christmas tree and I stocked up on mince pies and Christmas pudding as soon as Boxing Day hit. Because you know, I really like those things but also because who am I to resist the specials!?
I’m trying to find some routine to my life again, I’ve joined a gym which is literally just down the road from my house and I’ve been starting to run again which has been really good. I used to run a lot and I didn’t realise how much I missed it! The weather has finally picked up too, as in, it actually feels like summer now.
I went to the beach on the weekend, which I don’t do too often and it was…perfect. Growing up, I never really went to the beach. I realise now how much I like it. I hope I get to go there a few more times this summer. That and drink as much iced coffee that I can get my hands on!
I hope the start of your 2017 has been a good one so far!
2016. Well. I don’t quite know where to start. I suppose a good place to start would be at the end of 2015, a year I so desperately wanted to see end. I remember waking up on January 1, 2016, relatively fresh faced – all things considering – and ready to seize the day. New Years Day makes my expectations higher than usual for some reason, which is stupid, I know. Nevertheless, by the end of that day, I had resigned myself to the fact that it was going to be another disappointing year.
While I can’t exactly put my finger on it – oh wait, no I can – there were certain aspects of my life that just weren’t right. An unhealthy relationship, a warped sense of self worth, having a poor set of priorities. I was conflicted about different choices to make, I didn’t quite know what I was doing or even where to start really. Of course, I didn’t realise this at the time, but I guess that is the beauty of perspective.
Approximately 30 days into 2016, is when everything changed. It was completely unexpected, yet felt like the most natural thing in the world. I think that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. I think you know what I’m talking about.
Those choices I had to make were no longer difficult to figure out. Those priorities I had; became non-existent. It’s like the world slowed down and sped up at the same time, everything changed and yet nothing changed. If that doesn’t make sense to you, then you’re not alone. And that is one thing I’m not; I am not alone.
There is no way I could have possibly predicted where this year would go; where I would be sitting as I write this post and who I would be sharing the home I now live in with. What is so poignant about this very moment I’m in, is that I cannot predict where I will be sitting a year from now, or how my life will change over the next 12 months.
I do know who I’ll be sitting with though. And to me that’s all that matters.
Wishing you all a safe and Happy New Year.
In only a few short months, a lot in my life has changed. It’s funny how I use the word ‘short’ to describe this period of time, because it certainly didn’t feel that way when it was happening! I suppose it never does, especially when you’re as impatient as me.
After contemplating my career path once more, I came to the conclusion that it was time to move on from my old Visual Merchandising position. After 2 years in that role, I felt I had gotten as much as I could from it. I am grateful to say that the experience I had there has proved to be invaluable to me, despite the struggles I often faced. Over the years of my extremely modest career, I have learnt that there will always be different variations of the same challenges. It’s refreshing for me to see that I am growing and that I am becoming more confident in tackling these difficulties.
In saying that, I was fortunate enough to be offered a Visual Merchandising position with Topshop/Topman in August! To say I was excited would be an understatement, particularly after visiting their Oxford St store for the first time in 2013 and practically refusing to leave. This role has given me the most creative freedom I have ever had, but also the structure I have so desperately been craving. I feel as though I now have balance in my job, which is often hard to find.
After accepting the position, I gave myself permission to start hunting for a new place to live; a place to share with the person who brings me the most joy in life. Both of us had decided on a little place in between both of our workplaces, so we now live in a small country town about an hour away from the city. 2 years ago when I first moved out of home, I moved to the city. Now, I’ve done the complete opposite and have moved to the smallest town I’ve ever lived in. I love the juxtaposition between working in the city and living in the country. Like my new job, it has the balance I have wanted for so long. Our house really feels like home, but in all honesty, that has nothing to do with location.
While at the time those months of waiting – waiting for work stability, waiting for a house, waiting for the phone call – when I look back in hindsight, I have only fond memories. I wish to clutch on to every feeling, every butterfly and heartbeat I had in that time. I want to enjoy every moment of every process and find the beauty in it all.